Tuesday, 5 October 2010
Ever felt like you are going nowhere fast? That's how I feel quite often of late.
I've been really concerned about my breastfeeding, convinced that my milk supply was dwindling, having nightmares about it infact. We'd had to supplement Joels feeds with formula from five weeks and whilst that helped him gain weight and conform with health visitors growth charts (which it turns out aren't based solely on breastfed babies) it has over the last few weeks meant a diminished supply of breastmilk.
We've been going to a local breastfeeding support group which has really helped us, boosted my confidence with feeding in public, introduced us to other mums and babies but most of all got some really great advice with regards to breastfeeding.
Last week one of the midwife assistants was there from Helme Chase (the midwife led unit where Joel was born), she was great to chat to, I just wanted to take her home with me. All the midwives and assistants were so supportive with the feeding as they can see the long term benefits to mum, baby and in turn the NHS.
Anyway just when I thought Joel and I were getting into the swing of things he's got a cold and decided he won't take a bottle at all! What a stressful situation, a baby that won't feed. Reading on forums over the weekend it seems we aren't the only parents to experience this in a ten week old. I don't know if it's because of his cold or something else. All we can do is keep trying and trying.
So it was nice on Saturday when Mr B took Joel to visit Grandma and Grandad B. That day I found smiles in the unlikeliest of places, in the sunflowers watching me through the nursery window while I expressed milk. Quite a lonely thing to do with Joel away from me.
Walking Myrtle, something I never get to do these days, in the woods and seeing the river in full force. Wow! She didn't dare go in.
In the yellow pepper I chopped for our tea, a proper little smiley face! It was nice to have time to prepare a meal for us. I used to love cooking our tea.
All it had taken to feel positive again was a little space to breath and remember who I was again.
Aside from the feeding Joel is making fantsatic progress, he is a very alert (that means awake all the time) and inquisitive baby who smiles regularly. Here he is smiling in his special cardigan.
He now says 'goo goo' 'boo' and 'poo', he makes an effort to hold your finger (before it just happened by accident), he can perform 'the worm', a breakdance move which involves wriggling in an upward direction on his back and enjoys playing with his cot activity centre, smiling at the kitchen lights and snuggling up at bedtime with his mum and dad.
We have quite by accident ended up with a family bed but it's actually really nice so we are in no hurry to change the sleeping arangements. There's something very nice about all being together.
On sunday afternoon Joel took his nap with his dad. Look at how his little finger is sticking out, it's like that all the time.